What did you say? (Open)

Basil stood at the top of the Astronomy tower leaning against the wall and looking straight down. Her breath seemed to quicken slightly but she didn't back away, nor did she turn her vision to look straight ahead. Swallowing, she finally turned away and sat down on the ground. She looked about the tower. She was alone. She found herself being alone more often now. If that was good or bad, she didn't know. Nor did she care. Basil closes her eyes and rests her head against the wall, listening to the silence about her.

It had been a while since Lily had spent time observing the sky, a favourite pastime of hers as a child, so she decided to take a trip to Astronomy tower in the hope to spend some time looking at the view and observing. As she reached the top of the stairs, she stumbled slightly on some loose stone and cursed rather loudly as she banged her ankle bone on the steps. Straightening herself, she climbed the last few steps and pushed to door, which stood already slightly open, before entering the room. Glancing around, it took her a moment to register a figure sat against the wall. "Oh! I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?" she asked, unable to see who it was due to the shadow cast over the student's face.

Basil's eyes opened as she heard someone climbing the stairs. Watching the door, she but her lip as she saw Lily. She hasn't talked or seen her since the day on the Quidditch Pitch. "No, no. You're fine." She mumbles out, closing her eyes once more. Why was she up here?

She walked over to the student, but hesitated a few feet from her as she realised that it was Basil. "Are.. are you okay Basil?" she asked, unsure whether to go and comfort her or stay back. She hadn't seen her since their last conversation on the quidditch pitch, and so much had happened since that day, she wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't even sure if they were still friends, how was she to know if Basil even wanted to speak to her?

Basil cracked an eye open and looked up at the Gryffindor. "I'm fine." She says, getting up off the ground and walking to the edge of the tower to look down once more. She shivers slightly before placing her elbows on the edge of the tower and covering her face. Out of all people. "What are you doing up here?" she asks quietly before taking her hands off her face and leaning over the tower's edge once more. She still didn't know what to think of Lily. And she didn't think she ever would. She leaned her elbows against the edge again and tangled her fingers into her hair.

She eyed the younger girl warily, "Are you sure? You don't look fine." she said quietly, standing awkwardly. She watched Basil, wrapping her arms around her stomach uncomfortably, when she asked her something. She blinked at the girl, and took a hesitant step towards her. "I.. I wanted a trip down memory lane, to act out a childhood pastime. To watch the skies." she said, shrugging slightly. "I didn't realise there would be anyone else here."

"Positive." she mumbles and lets out a small yawn. Her nose twitched slightly, clearly displeased with the answer she had received. "I see." She glanced over her shoulder to see the Lily had moved closer. She turned back, the smallest trace of a frown on her face. Biting her lip once more, she listened to the silence around her once more. For once she welcomed it.

She twiddled her thumbs nervously, glancing between the floor and Basil, wanting to break the silence, but unsure of what to say. "Basil.. I.." she started, but soon quietened again. Her thoughts returned to the previous week, of how she had probably made everything about ten times more complicated. "Can't we be friends? I don't like us not being able to speak to each other!" she finally stated, breaking the silence with a voice of desperation. "I miss talking to you Basil."

Basil turned around to face Lily, pressing her lips together in thought. "I don't know Lils..." She said quietly. "I don't know if I could ever look at you the same way." Her fingers tapped against the wall, trying to keep herself calm, which surprisingly, wasn't hard to do. "Can I trust you?" Her eyes wandered over to the landscape. "I don't think I can." She looks back over at Lily, waiting to see what she would say.

She took another step forward, desperately seeking her friendship. "I know what I've been doing is wrong and hurtful to you. But you've got to see that we can't help it." She edged towards the girl again, "I really am sorry to have done this behind your back." Shifting from foot to foot, she chewed her lips a little. "You don't have to trust me, I know that would be impossible, but can't you see how hard this is for both you and I without us being able to talk? About anything?" Her eyes bore in to Basils, wanting her to at least accept her apology, but more to accept her friendship, yet she knew how unlikely it would be to happen.

Basil turns away from the girl once more. "I don't know. I can't seem to understand any of it, but both of you seem to expect that I would." She looks over the edge once more, leaning a bit further, trying to replace the feeling she had in her stomach with fear. "I do need to trust you. That's how I talk to people. Through trust. But when it's gone..." taps her shoe against the edge of the tower. "...I can't."

"I don't expect you to understand, I just wish you could see the difference it's making. How could you understand something we don't understand ourselves?" She advanced further towards the girl, reaching a comfortable distance that she was accustomed to when speaking with her friends. Her stomach sank with the girl's words, "You may not be able to trust me completely, but surely you can trust that I would never mean to hurt you, never want to hide things from you, never have known something like this would happen?" She looked at the floor, twiddling her thumbs like a child who had been caught up to no good.

"You were going to hide it from me in the first place though. Remember?" She turned around to face Lily, a bit surprised at how close she had become but then shook her head. "Weren't those your words? 'You were never meant to find out.'? Don't you know the danger you're putting yourself in? Lux in? Maybe even myself? Maybe you do and you really don't care. And maybe you don't. But you have to know. Vine. He isn't going to be happy. I know how you've continued to see him. It's going to be hard to separate yourself from him soon. He'll find out. Not by me, Lily. But by you..." Basil stared long and hard at Lily before turning her back on her again. "You've got to see it..."

She closed her eyes, flinching at the remembrance of her words. "I didn't mean it like that! You weren't meant to know that it happened the first time. But when it affected us, I wanted to tell you. I meant that you weren't to find out the way that you did. I should have been able to tell you. To explain." She flinched again as the rant continued. "I know." she whispered, "Believe me I know, but he doesn't have to find out! I won't allow anyone to be hurt by my actions other than myself, no-one else has to suffer. I can take the consequences, but he doesn't have to know a thing. " She crumpled to the floor, holding her head in her hands. "I can't let him know." she whispered, pained by the thought.

Basil rubbed her face. "I still doubt that you would have told me. All this is happening because I found out myself. Even if I hadn't found out myself, we would still be in the same position that we are at the moment." She kicked the wall a bit harder. "Vine is not controllable Lily. If he wants to hurt someone, he will. Even if you try to stop him. And even if he didn't find out, you've all ready hurt someone." She turned around to look at the girl, blinking to see her crumbled on the ground. Sighing, she knelt down beside her. She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it. What was she suppose to say. She had no words of comfort. Standing up she went to go stand at the edge of the tower once more.

"How can you be so stupid?" she exclaimed, looking up at Basil, "Of course I would have told you! I'm not so cruel as to hide such a thing from someone I care about, someone I fear for. I thought you knew me better than that." Lily found it incredulous that Basil could have even thought she was capable of such cruelty. "Vine is not strong enough, he has no control over himself, never mind me or you. Sure he can hurt people, but he's not capable of much damage. I know that first hand." she growled, "And I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt! How many times do I need to say that?" She stared at Basil with regret and horror in her eyes, but there was an air of confidence about her, something that overpowered any negative emotions. She wasn't going to let things get out of hand.

Basil bit her tongue hard, wanting to keep calm as much as she could. She shakes her head. "I'm not stupid. If anyone in this room was, it would be you." She leaned against the wall, looking down at Lily. "No. But it was cruel to go off with him, and continue to go off with him. Don't you see how this is tearing me apart? You might be alright with it, but I'm certainly not." She felt herself tense up slightly and took a minute to calm herself once more. "You're underestimating him, Lils. I may not know him well, but by the things I've heard..." She rubbed her face. Why had she come up here in the first place. "Enough times for it to register, which obviously it isn't..."

"I'm not alright that it is upsetting you! I don't want to be doing this to you, but I can't help myself. I know how bad that sounds, but.." she trailed off, not knowing how to finish her sentence. "It's hard for all of us, you, me, Lux and Rory. But we can get through it!" She stood and brushed the dust of her robes, "You're overestimating him. What you've heard.. it's nothing. He can do little harm." Crossing her arms across her chest, she walked to the parapet and looked out over the grounds. "I truly am sorry. We both are." she said quietly.

Basil shook her head. "You three might be able to. But I don't know if I can get through it. I don't know if I can continue. I have to pretend everything is fine when I'm with Lux. It's not. Not for me anyways. I'm not strong enough for this. I might be someday, but this was my beginning, and it may just be the end." She watched Lily move before shifting a bit uncomfortablely.

"Don't say that." She turned to face Basil, "He cares for you, a lot. We all do. We'll find a way to get through this. Maybe over the holidays? We can all get together and just sort things out." She looked warily at Basil, wondering if she knew that she'd be staying with Lucifer over the holidays with them. Or if she'd just made things ten times worse. "Everything is going to be okay. We can sort this all out."

"I'm going to say it because its true. Every word. All is true." She said, freezing slightly as she mentioned the holidays. She had been slightly hopefully that she wouldn't come. But all that at the moment was flushed down the drain. "I... I don't know if I'm going with Lux. Things... change. Thoughts change. People change." She sat on the ground. Letting her forehead rest on her knees. Sort things out. Meaning possibly a choice. Basil sighed before leaning back and letting her head hit the wall.

Lily leaned back against the railings, "Look, if you don't want to go because I'm going, you don't have to worry. I'm only going because I have nowhere else to be, other than at Hogwarts. He's the same person Bas, he still cares about you." She looked over at Basil sympathetically, after all, this was down to her own selfishness. "You should still spend Christmas with him. With us."

Basil runs a hand through her hair. "I just don't want to hurt anymore. I'm getting sick of it." She tensed up once more at the word us, trying to calm down once more. No. She couldn't break down now. Not here. "I don't know..." She replies once more, running her fingers over the stones on the floor. "Things could possibly get worse."

"Please Basil, even if it's just for a few days. We all need to just talk things out, sort out what we all want." she said, sighing. "Things could get worse, but I think it'd make us all feel better. Please, spend just a few days with us Basil, I can't leave things as they are. And everyone begins to leave for home or wherever this weekend. We need to do something about this." She glanced at Basil, sensing her upset, and knowing she was probably only making matters worse, but she wasn't just going to walk away.

"Things can't get worse but make one feel better at the same time. One is always hurt in the end. Torn to bits. Beyond repair. I just don't want it to be me..." Basil pauses and stares into the space in front of her. "Why can't you just understand that? While you're happy with him, it's tearing me apart. I can't just go. Because you'll be with him." She nervously plays around with the necklaces on her neck. "I'll think about it."